MARTIN JOHNSON

I’d half been expecting it, but when I walked into the golf club bar and the steward said (in a voice even graver than he used on the day the Guinness ran out): “It’s war,” it still came as a bit of a shock. “Who started it?” I enquired. “Was it Trump? Or that fat Korean bloke?” To which the reply came back: “Neither. It was David Warner.” It has become something of a tradition for a game of cricket between a couple of colonial cousins to generate the kind of rhetoric that would, in other circumstances, prompt eme...