MARTIN JOHNSON

Tt was hard to get a drink at the golf club bar last Saturday, as the barmaid kept disappearing to grab another ten minutes by the telly coo-ing at the Royal Wedding. “Make the most of it,” I warned her. “By the time the next one comes around the bride will hurtle down the aisle on a pair of roller-skates for a brief “I do”, and the happy couple will speed off in a top-of-the-range Lamborghini for a quick slice of cake and Prosecco before heading for the airport. It will all be done and dusted in half an hour.”
If it can happen to cricke...